Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Double L Ranch

Week 14

Wallet Check: - $1,500
Week 12 gains/losses: -$ 500

Terrible news this week folks. The Schlitz was on flight 565 out of Cosovo earlier this week when the plane was hijacked. The worst part is that Schlitz was the hijacker. Having lost his pride to a group of militant bikers outside East Baton Rouge Parish, the Schlitz could apparently take no more. Rumor is he demanded the plane and was immediately restrained by a 3rd grade girl on her way to visit Grandma for the holidays. Unfortunately, the plane also had engine troubles and doom seemed inevitable. Luckily, all passengers were able to escape unscathed with the exception of Schlitz. He was locked in the bathroom in a straight jacket. My hats off to the lad, as he brought us entertaining weeks of crap, some memorable stories and proved why it takes more than a Schlitz to make the greenbacks. In fact…

It takes a freakin witch doctor from New Guinea! So guess what we got?

It’s amazing that it takes so many years of losing your shirt wagering on the “Latest Lines”, but Schlitz has hopefully taught us all that a witch doctor is the only viable solution. Though this fella from “The Guinea” will only grace us with his presence this one week, I am honored and look forward to winning the money that Schlitz so desperately wanted for us all. Apparently for sacrificial reasons, the “Doctor” has to get back to the jungle for some animal rights hearings. In any case, he seems to have absolutely zero knowledge of football and/or how good any of these teams really are head to head. Interestingly, much like the Schlitz and most people who wager on football… However, the one thing the witch doctor can provide is some voodoo magic that surely will bring the Benjamin’s home for us all. This week is one game. One lock. One toast to the Schlitz. And…

100 Benjamin’s
The Dawgs by 8 over Tech

I may not be one for voodoo, but for the sake of Schlitz and a much needed trip to Dubai, I will be loading the wagon one last time and riding it through Athens with the spirit of Schlitz riding shotgun! He certainly brought Good Times and I for one will forever remember the life and times of a legend in his own world. When you hear the bell ringing Saturday after the game, know that Schlitz is probably at the helm. Rest in peace old friend.


duvydawg said...

Dude?! Why'd you kill of the Schlitz? Well, perhaps this is just a rouse and the Schlitz will magically appear next football season similar to that of Bobby Ewing in the Dallas season opener in 1983. Yep, I think I'm on to something.

Schlitz said...

You know what's funny and you didn't even know it? The picture by your alias! The kid is seemingly screaming your sentiments! Classic.

The Schlitzz only hope is for some voodoo magic. Do realize that there will be a replacement once the interviewing process has been complete for '09. I'm sure you'll be on pins and needles!

Anonymous said...

RIP old friend Schlitz. You made me A LOT of money this year.

Whit said...

D-train told me once, "never bet on Georgia. You might jinx them."