Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Double L Ranch

Week 12

Wallet Check: - $1,200
Week 11 gains/losses: +$ 800

It seems laying low for a week helped the Schlitz regroup and light up the win column. Although the winnings were nice this week, I knew that there was plenty more where that came from, but I needed some companions to energize the quam. I hopped a flight Sunday night heading east to meet an old friend of mine for a few days just outside Dubai. Frank Mathis is his name and he has been like a father to me through the years. We’ve traveled the continents in search of fine wines and cheap women and for that I’m sincerely grateful. Frank’s life story plays like an Old Number One, but his vast knowledge of football can not possibly be paralleled. He has introduced me to the likes of Muhammad Ali, Jackie Robinson, Al Oliver and Odibee McDowell. In fact, Frank even introduced me to a great gambling shark in his own right at the camel tracks outside Mumba on Tuesday. Arak “Pee Wee” Hummus. This guy could not only call a camel race, but provided some of the finest herbal remedies I’ve ever had. After a few canteens of Romalad Whiskey, the three of us decided that Pee Wee may provide the anecdote for a winning weekend if he were to fly back to the states with us and make some calls on college ball. Though he had no idea what college ball meant we knew that his stash would be left in Mumba if we didn’t convince him to join us. A spliff and a half later, the trip was planned and we were on our way to Ruston, Louisiana. Pee Wee, Frank and I arrived in Louisiana last night and stumbled into an old joint that Frank used to frequent back in his bootleggin days. Even now, I must admit, I have no idea where I am… I CAN tell you this though, the wine flows, the smoke blows and so do the women! Sorry, that was uncalled for, but unfortunately not worthy of deletion.
Anyhow, on with the show that brings in the doe:

5 Benjamin’s
Take BYU -4 at Air Force
I know this isn’t a big game, but it’s certainly worthy of a 5 spot. BYU has a lot to play for while the Falcons are trying to break into the top 25. Look for a lot of points and a BYU victory.

4 Benjamin’s
Take UGA -8 at Auburn
It’s bound to be break out time for the Dawgs. Auburn has no offense and should not score more than 13 points. The Tigers will be fired up, but after the Dawgs score on the opening drive the crowd will be silenced and the long afternoon begins in for Auburn.

3 Benjamin’s
Purdue +17.5 at Iowa
Iowa played unreal against Penn State. No question. However, the excitement won’t last as Purdue will certainly hang around enough to make the points worth taking.

2 Benjamin’s
Missouri -28 at Iowa State
Blow out. This was called by Pee Wee and I’d suspect he’s right. Iowa State is looking forward to the offseason and plowing the corn fields. Again, blow out.

1 Benjamin
UCLA -7 at Washington
This should probably be more than a single note, but since it is the Pac 10, crazier things have happened. Let’s drop a crisp one on UCLA though, as Washington is flat out awful.

The 5 Benjamin “Back on Track” Special #2
Utah State will lose by 13 to Louisiana Tech
This is a sneak attack that will win you some serious doe…

It’s creeping up on me now and the lights are definitely dimming. Between the three of us I think we’ve put together a winning package in preparation for the Dubai outing. We’ve opened another bottle of Port and I suspect I’ll be dozing through the games this weekend, but come Sunday, the jet will be fired up with my briefcase of Benjamins and we’ll be heading to yet another fabulous destination! Bottoms up!

1 comment:

JJ said...

All road teams this week, Schlitz?